Thanks to Mr. Jay Liu for pointing this out and sending me this video.

And I am not even exaggerating because i hardly LOL

At certain point it lacks subtlety, that is true.

But all in all the film is unfailingly witty and original. I love how it stated at the start that everybody is a cliché..

Bardo: “I’m a living cliché just like the rest of these guys. I’m the guy who keeps dropping out and changing his major just because he’s afraid he really sucks at everything. “

I am also amused by all the thoughtful details in the background, and how they echo with what is going on in the film.

I find a lot of depth in this film and I can keep re-watching it until I exhaust the many layers in the script.

The film confronts many controversial issues in the academic modern art arena and the art scene in general. To many people modern art is disheartening place where people without skill can succeed . For instance this guy in No Skill No Art pointed out that Modern Art is primarily dependent on talk rather than artistic skill. And this was openly confronted in the film (with artful humour! )

However skills and originality are not mutually exclusive- For instance I was very impressed by Ben Heine’s famous Pencil Vs Camera! Series 

Art School Confidential has made it into my list of favourite film list

A quote from the original comic:

Remember, the only piece of paper less valuable than one of your paintings is a B.F.A. degree.”

LOL!

Towards the end of this debut novel, its voluble, digressive, murderous protagonist makes a prediction: “White men will be finished in my lifetime,” he tells us. “In 20 years time it will just be us brown and yellow men at the top of the pyramid, and we’ll rule the world.” He’s talking about the phenomenon at the heart of this dazzling narrative: the emergence of that much-heralded economic powerhouse, the “new India”.        - David Mitton

After the Slap and The Bell Jar I moved onto reading The White Tiger- the winner of the Man Booker Prize 2008.

India is presented as a place of brutal injustice and sordid corruption, where the poor are always depressed and suppressed, the rich often filthy and empty. I find the depiction of the character and the city colorful and intense, yet not necessarily as realistic as many reviews have promised.

Given this is a debut novel the author has done a great job. The story isn’t perfect yet believable enough.Despite the difficult issues it attempts to touch on, it is easy-to-read and entertaining .

ONE THING does put me off- Aravind Adiga has his face printed on the inside of the back cover- if I had seen it before I bought the book it wouldn’t be on my shelf now. I hope it is the publisher’s idea, not his.

Yes, like this. eww.

next read: Mr. Rosenblum’s List by Natasha Solomons.

Plath is, of course, talented.
the book is poetic, but not in a literal sense that it drags you through difficult language and fancy metaphors
It is a classic, not the kind of book you’d typically call “entertaining”. i didnt catch myself “hooked” but before I knew it i have finished it.

I felt like I was on a side-by-side soul- searching journey with her.
The book has captured me but has failed to suck me in as much as her poems did.

anyway, i am awfully glad that I have finally read The Bell Jar
Ticked that box!

Plath in real life.. feels bizzare looking at her pic after I read her semi autobiography..

and btw, They are making it into a movie in 2012.. I look forward to seeing how bad it will be.

I have been reading heaps of great books and have watched some great films in the last few weeks.

I feel like such a fortunate happy baby

This is written by Harold S. Kushner, in his foreword for Man’s Search for Meaning

Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adler taught, but a quest for meaning.

The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her life. Frankl saw three possible sources for meaning:
a] in work (doing something significant)
b] in love (caring for another person)
c] and in courage during difficult times.

By reviewing my personality, counselling style and belief system, I have found my niche in a non- directive and person-centered approach to art therapy.

The School caters specifically for children with severe behavioral adjustment difficulties who cannot be supported successfully in mainstream primary school settings.

Throughout these children’s life, they have come across a lot of behavioral management practices, strategies and methods. However, the traditional reward-punishment model seem to have failed to contain their behaviors. I feel that for these children to genuinely internalize appropriate behaviors and values, a system based on external reinforcement is not enough.

Child- Centered philosophy

The child- centered philosophy is an encompassing philosophy for living one’s life in relationships with children— it is not a cloak of techniques, but a way of being based on a belief in children’s innate capacity to strive towards growth and maturity. (Landreth, 2002)

The following are a few examples that illustrate my clinical approach to art therapy under the influence of a humanistic, chid- centered framework.

Empathetic Tracking rather than Interpretations

Like many art therapist including Natalie Rogers (2011), I believe that children’s drawings are to bring unconscious to the conscious, and that their artwork are manifestation of their inner world in form of symbols. However, despite the use of psychoanalytic concepts to help me understand the therapeutic process, I restrain from making direct and verbal interpretation based on my analysis.

Rogers suggests that it was inappropriate for the therapist to try to make interpretations on the client’s behalf. I, too, believe that making complex interpretation about inner dynamics in a traditional Freudian sense is not helpful when working with children as they are not cognitively capable of complex concepts and abstract reasoning. Whilst an empathetic response to the child’s feelings at the here-and-now can be emotionally relieving (Landreth, 2002), a lengthy and deep analysis can be confusing..

Steve has a tendency to form strong attachment towards adult female figures; he frequently expresses affection towards me and other female teachers. One day, during an art therapy session he showed an interest in my work with other students.

Steve: Do you work with all students? Or just me?

I: You are wondering whom I work with. I work with some students but not all.”

Steve: Who is your favourite?

I: You are wondering if I like working with you

Steve: Yes!

By empathically stating the motive behind Steve’s question, I avoided the ‘difficult question’ of having to pick a favourite and Steve was relieved as I not only understood but also accepted his thoughts.  Although I believed that his wanting to be “the favourite of all” is a result of transference and a reflection of his relationship with his mother, a direct verbal interpretation of that would be intrusive and was not likely to be therapeutic.

Letting the child leads

Another cornerstone of my learning of working with children is to let them take the lead. According to a child- centered approach, a child’s natural developmental state consists a continual process of movement toward the solution. Thus, there is no need for therapist to impose predetermined solutions onto the child. I see my role as a therapist as one who provides a relationship necessary for children to develop adaptive coping mechanism on their own terms and at their own pace.

Sometimes, following their lead also means to respect their need for silence. (Landreth, 2002) The importance of working in the child’s pace is highlighted in my work with Sean.

Sean came from a single- parent family with 10 children. He had multiple suspensions from school, was known for pathological lying, stealing and bullying. Being one of the 10 children at home and being labelled “the problematic one” in school, Sean was deprived of emotional presence and positive attention. Having to take care of his younger siblings he was rarely allowed to be “just a boy” and engage in art or play that are developmentally appropriate for him.

In the first session he was talkative and responsive. He very quickly engaged me in his art making process, and when I made comments on his work he acknowledged them by nodding and smiling.

Our relationship grew quickly; he seemed to enjoy my company and often asked to spend more time with me.

Nevertheless, as time went he became more and more quiet.  In contrast to the first session, he no longer paid much attention to my presence. He did not ask for my help nor did he want me to join. I continued to give tracking responses for his behaviours, yet soon I felt that they were redundant and distracting for him. Although it seemed awkward for me at the start, I decided to respect his need for silence and independence.

He was no longer pre- occupied by the need to acknowledge or to please me. My “non- doing” attitude provided him with a space that was free from external demands and expectations, a space where he could relax and act naturally. As I respected the pace and pattern he set, he had made the sessions a truly therapeutic space for him.

(tbc…)

Have you ever had an experience like this?

You went to the cinema, and you watched a random film.

Whilst watching it you kept thinking to yourself:” omg this is so damn amazing, it’s gonna win the next Academy Awards of some sort.”

When the movie ended, you felt like clapping.

Then you walked out, startled, thinking you would see tear marks down everyone’s cheek— and (of course) you didn’t.

Apparently you were the one still in the “zone”, everyone else have moved on to reality, cynical comments about the characters, or what’s for dinner.

Apparently you were the only one who thought it was brilliant.

That is how I felt when I came out of “Never Let me go”

And then I went home, looked in imdb only to find that it gets a 7. 3 whilst Black Swan gets an 8.5.

Suddenly I feel so alienated from the rest of the world.

(However, I do think I would have hated the film if I did read the book. Book into movies, imho never works)

In this reflective note, I mainly focus on the idea of projection and its relevance to my work with aggressive children at Tennyson Special School.

Freud suggests that clients not only remember earlier situations of conflicts and anxiety from their childhood but would always transfer them to the current situation, where they re-experience and relive them.  (Waska, 1999)  To understand these dynamics, in art therapy sessions I continually asked myself: What is the child feeling in relation to me/ the art materials/ the artwork at the moment?” “Am I/ the artwork being made a past or present person in his life?”

Projection was a type of defence mechanism. It serves to create a sense of psychological distance from unwanted aspects of the self. Waska (1999) think of projection as an unconscious fantasy of loving and hateful feelings being evacuated into an object, it could be in form of fantasy, behavior, or other subtle forms of communication.

My experience with projection and my subsequent struggle with counter-transference are demonstrated in the following vignettes:

Dan – “You know how you don’t like my stuff?”

Dan was a seven year-old boy I saw regularly in Tennyson Special School. His father was in prison at the time I saw him. When he was younger, his father often teased him for being “sissy”, or criticise him for being a “cry baby” when he played or drew. In art therapy sessions, he often insisted that I were to decide on the choice of art materials or the theme of his artwork.

Dan: “ What colour should I use? “

I: “In here, that is up for you to decide.”

Dan: “But what colour do YOU like?” (Began to get agitated)

I: “Dan, This is your special hour, what is most important is the colour you like.”

Usually the conversation would go on until he eventually gave up or got angry, yet this time, he replied:

(Dan) “ But., you know how you always don’t really like what I make.”

I: “You felt that I do not like the artwork you made?”

(I was startled as I felt I had shown much attention, acceptance and care for him and his artwork through both verbal responses and body language)

Dan: “yea… Because, you know how you think they are not very good.”

At this point, As much as I was compelled to tell him how much I appreciated his work, I resisted the urge to directly praise him. As I believed that the objective of my work is to facilitate Dan in to develop an internal system of reward and satisfaction, rather than relying on external recognition.

When I reflect on the vignette, I felt that Dan was projecting his insecurity and the lack of self-esteem onto my attitude towards him and his work. At the same time, countertransference occurred, manifesting itself in my urge to praise him.

As Pick (1985) writes:

The analyst, like the patient, desires to eliminate discomfort … In part, the patient seeks an enacting response, and …the analyst has an impulse to enact…This may range from an implicit indulgence, caressing the patient with words, to responses so hostile or distant or frozen … (p. 158)

Pick points out that the therapist would be drawn to remove the anxiety and threat that both the therapist and the client was feeling. In this case, it would be my urge to praise Dan—I believe that I was identifying with Dan’s feelings of self- loath and anxiety, and I wished to eliminate that by “caressing him with words”. It was, as Pick describes, “very secretiveand subtle, yet extremely gratifying.” (p.158) Fortunately, my urge was momentary, and I regained my footing enough to give a response that I believed was therapeutic.

Externalisation

In other occasions, projection may also be used to externalize confusing or uncertain aspects of the self so they can be studied more objectively. This is sometimes called Externalization (Crenshaw and Mordock, 2007).

Matt- Your stuffs are smelly!

Matt was a 10 year-old boy. He suffered from bowel incontinence and constant soiling. As a result of the unpleasant odour, he was bullied both in the mainstream school and in the special school.   In art therapy sessions, he tended be controlled, reserved and careful. He was very quiet and rarely spoke without my initiation. In our third session, he came into the room and as usual explored the different art materials on the shelf. Suddenly, he said: “These are smelly, your stuffs are smelly”. I did not pay particular attention to the comment at first, yet later in the fifth session, he repeated the same comment and began to criticise the materials with disgust.

The other children had never complained about the smell of the materials, nor did I notice any particularly strong odour, yet it seemed to be bothering Matt a lot.

As a form of projection, Crenshaw & Mordock (2007) describes the defence mechanism of “externalisation” as a way of dealing with unacceptable part of oneself. In Matt’s case, he externalised the “smelly Matt”, who was laughed at, criticised, and insulted as unrelated to the self and as something to be treated with contempt.

In psychotherapy, similar process might take place in the form of a projection of certain emotions towards the therapist. However, in art therapy, object of the projection could be the art materials, the art process, the art product, or the art therapist herself.

” The artist enacts the paradox of freedom and imitation, beginning with the ultimate freedom: to create whatever he wants or to do nothing at all. This freedom is chaotic and is often the most difficult barier to pass. It is the decision that follow, the structuring and limiting of possibilities, that bring freedom of action on a particular artistic work. Every decision- medium, technique, theme- paradoxically binds and liberates… It is the inability to limit oneself that paralyses the creative flow. Once the boundaries have been established the freedom has begun. ” – Bruce Moon

I cant agree more. It has been three weeks now, if not three years, my STUCK in art making, in creativity, in life.

I recall the time when I was the illustrator bounded by themes and stories. When I was in school strangled by school rules. It was so much easier. n paradoxically so much more liberating.

Now that I am free to do whatever, whenever, I am stuck. I feel the same damn way about my life in Australia. I am at a stage where I desperately need structure and boundaries. Yet everything in my life now is telling me that there is no “have to”.There are too much freedom. It is too damn scary.

This is when the mindful meditation really gets me too. I am not transcended. I am in that dangerous place where you were stripped of hedonistic pleasure search but have got nth to fill the space.. what was left is that bare fear of meanginglessness of life itself. The idea that “nth really matters” is driving me insane. I find myself fantically trying to find “purpose”, “reason”, or “meaning” for my work, and my art work…

Well, at least I am writing a thesis on my own existential angst..

I think I really don’t like the sunshine state. I need to go somewhere more miserable.

I love falling down to hurt myself on a yogamat

I love posing for anal photographers to not get paid

I love doing art therapy to have crazy kids spit on me

I love spilling paint on my canvas to have a heart attack

That about sum it up really =]